7 Months Old Today

Last month flew by. I honestly don't know how it happened so fast but Indie is 7 months old already. She still won't roll over. Whatever, I still like her.

These two will be best friends someday. They're both already making an attempt so I can tell it's a step in the right direction.
I am much too lazy to be a good blogger anymore. Where did my motivation go?

My baby is chubbier than your baby

Indie turned 6 months old a couple weeks ago and I am loving every second with her. She is the happiest, most content baby and I love hanging out with her and her squishy little body. I took a few pictures of her and ended up getting only one good one. She is always so smiley but as soon as I pulled out the camera this time, she pulled out the stink face.
Here she is loosening up a bit...
And I have about 15 more that look like this...
She wasn't upset or anything so I thought it was hilarious that this is how she chose to look at the camera.

I still have no news to report about her rolling over or sitting up, but she is enjoying some solid foods now and sleeping great unswaddled, praise the heavens above. She also has two teeth now that poked through about a week before she hit 6 months. I love them except when she bites me and makes me bleed...my own fault, I know.

5 months old!

This little darling hit the 5 month mark today and I don't really feel like much has changed since month 4 except that she's sleeping through the night much better now and has probably packed on a little more chub. Actually I take that back. She's finally grabbing at toys and trying to eat them and sucks on her fingers every chance she gets. It's nice because sometimes she can even put her pacifier back in her mouth. I guess where I feel she hasn't really changed much is in the physical development, as in no rolling over, no straightening her legs and trying to stand. Just still kinda being a big baby blob. But a cute one at least.

She does drool much more now so that's fun! Luckily it's not so bad that she needs a bib or anything. We've been going to the pool a lot lately and when I hold her up against me she always has to suck on my shoulder. I think it's so cute.
These are her two favorite fingers. Usually it's just the pointer, but every now and again the middle finger gets lucky enough to be in there too. Definitely not a thumb sucker.
Indie used to be super squealy, but in the last few weeks she has toned it way down. Now, it's almost as if she's taking everything in and just more content. At the pool, she doesn't get super excited, she just chills. And when we walk around the complex in the Bjorn, I wouldn't even know she was there if the extra weight wasn't digging into my shoulders. It's really bizarre to me how quiet she can be! That's all for now, I guess. Just a little Indie update for those who care, which you all should.

It feels good to give!

In the last week, we have found out that Clara will have to undergo at least 6-8 months of treatment. As if that's not awful enough, the hospital is two hours from her home, which doesn't make it any easier on my brother and his family. Cameron, my brother in law, called me last week to see what I thought about getting some wristbands together to support Clara and keep the fundraisers going. Well guess what?? They are here and ready to be sold!! Click on the link below to go get yourself one!

Love For Clara Link

Love for Clara

This is Clara. She is 2 years old. She is my brother's youngest child. Two days ago she was diagnosed with high risk Neuroblastoma cancer. She is currently in the hospital undergoing many tests to really find out what she is up against and it seems that each test result brings more bad news. About 3 weeks ago, Clara started getting sick and the doctors thought she had strep. After the antibiotics failed to work, they questioned whether it really was strep. Clara was in a lot of pain and was having a hard time even walking, along with trouble breathing. They finally decided to take her to a hospital in Spokane, where they discovered the cancer, first around her kidneys, then in her leg, now on deep eye sockets, sinuses, and behind her eyes. Today she is having another bone scan done and then a biopsy on the tumor around her kidney. I'm receiving most of my updates through Facebook, thanks to my brother's sister-in-laws, but comments like these are just breaking my heart:

"Clara is in a lot of pain. They are having to give her morphine sooner than she is scheduled for it. As soon as she saw all of the presents and goodies from her friends, her face lit up and she wanted to hold the toys and dolls."

"Clara is sleeping and Brian is holding her hand. She opened her eyes for a moment and said, "Thank you Daddy." My mom said she has been saying similar things to the nurses and doctors."

From my brother, Brian: "You'd think we'd be better at this after what happened with Carson, but this seems so much harder."

That's the next thing. This sweet family has been through this before with their second son. When Carson was about 6 months old, they found a brain tumor and operated on it a little while later. I remember his head was so swollen after that surgery, but luckily they got it all and he is the most angelic boy you will ever meet now.

Less than two months ago, Clara and her family came to stay with us in Utah. They live in Washington so I don't get to see them much. Before this trip, I really didn't know Clara too well, but she made a huge impression on me in a short amount of time. Within ten minutes of being in my house, she ran up to Walter, only to realize that he was an actual living dog, so she turned and ran away screaming. Every time I put Indie in her swing, Clara was right there to help push it, usually much too hard :) When her cousin Cash was being whiney, Clara took it upon herself to discipline him by shaking her pointer finger at him. When we went to Kangaroo Zoo, which is a children's play place with tons of bouncy toys, Clara really loved the biggest slide. She would come up to me and back up into me so I would pick her up and take her down it. This happened time after time.

A fundraiser has been set up on Clara's behalf, as she has a long road ahead of chemotherapy, radiation and many other things a small child should never have to go through. Many have already donated that don't even know her, which means so much to my family. I'm adding a link to the fundraiser so that if you are able, you can donate as well. Thank you in advance.

Click here to help Clara

Bored on a Saturday

It is 85 degrees outside right now and so beautiful but I am stuck inside while Indie naps so I thought I'd be a good little blogger for the time being. Our days out here in Charlotte are much like the movie Groundhog Day...same routine every day with slight variations if we are motivated enough. I usually have no idea what day it is, which doesn't even matter since all the days are the same. Somehow 5 1/2 weeks have flown by and Indie is growing like a weed!

We spent our first few weeks relearning how to sleep because apparently she forgot when we changed time zones. I have read so many sleep books but one was recommended to me by a friend, called The Baby Sleep Solution, and it is, by far, the best one out there. It claims to have your baby sleeping 12 hours by 12 weeks old, but I can't vouch for that since I started when Indie was around 17 weeks. I'm already excited to train our next baby!

I've been snipping away at Indie's hair lately because it's starting to look so retarded. She rocks herself to sleep by moving her head from side to side over and over, which means she is rubbing all her hair off. If it weren't for all her hair on the top, her and my dad would have the same hairstyle. I took the clippers to the back of her head last night just to even things up a bit and it looks much better. Sad that she's making herself go bald but I guess it was inevitable.

Indie giggled for her first time on Mother's Day and it hasn't happened since. You could tell while it was happening that she was confused and had no idea what was coming out of her mouth. It lasted for about 30 seconds and that's the last we've seen of that. She mostly just squeals all the time. I can get her squealing just by making the noise and she will mimic me until she gets bored. Speaking of bored, you may never meet a baby that gets bored quicker than Indie. We are constantly switching up the activities because she will definitely let you know she's over it.

We did a mini photo session today that only lasted about 5 minutes and you can see by the end of it that she was done.



Geez, how many rolls can you count on those arms?!

I'm realizing that my blog is mostly consisting of Indie these days but I guess that's to be expected when a baby comes along and consumes your whole life. I absolutely love being a mom to this little one and get more excited everyday as she gets bigger. Some moms are sad to see their kids grow up, but I love it because she's able to interact with us more and more and that's way more fun than boring baby blob. Is that mean? Don't get me wrong, newborns are precious, but I enjoy the growing up part much more!

4 Months Old!

For Indie's 4 month old birthday, she got a double chin, two thunder thighs and some roly poly biceps. Oh, and let's not forget calves that pretty much fold over her ankles. You'd never know this was a low birth weight baby, that's for sure. Trey and I both feel like she's totally chunked out since we moved out to Charlotte, which was just over 3 weeks ago. I just love squishing all that chub. And go ahead and judge me, I pierced her ears.At her 4 month appointment, she weighed in at 13lbs even and 24 inches long. I don't remember the percentages because this doctor out here doesn't really get specific, just does ranges. I think her head was in the 10-25th percentile. That's too big of a range for me to take them seriously with anything. My favorite part about her appointment was when the doctor asked me how much time she is spending on her tummy. I was proud to report that she can stand it about 6 minutes a day now, real improvement! The doctor then went on to tell me that she should be on her tummy for 3 hours a day. I just laughed. No way in H-E double hockey sticks that that will ever happen.

Since moving out here, Indie has backtracked a little on her night sleeping so we are in the process of fixing that as soon as possible. My eyes burn all day long as my night's sleep has likewise backtracked. Aside from that, she's smiling all the time now and loves squealing and kicking her legs to Ellen. She gets the whole kitchen wet when I bathe her because she just loves to kick those legs. She absolutely hates riding in the car, I think because she needs constant entertainment and staring at the back of the car is not that cool. My rotator cuff is frequently sore from reaching back and putting her binky in her mouth. Needless to say, I now hate riding in the car too. Notice a pattern? If Indie doesn't do it or doesn't like it, neither does mom.

So behind! 3 months old...25 days ago!

This little one is not so little anymore. Things have been crazy busy so I haven't had a chance to update. Since I'm nearly a month behind, I'm just going to skip the last month and leave you with a photo of her at 3 months. She'll be 4 months next Tuesday so we'll fill you in on her life sometime around then.

2 Months Old!

I'm a little devastated because my computer crashed last week and of course I hadn't backed it up since Indie was born so all the pictures of her birth up until now are gone. I'm hanging onto the slight hope that my bro-in-law can recover those photos so we'll see. Anyway, Indie had her 2 month check up today and she weighed in at exactly 10lbs and 22in. She's in the 29th percentile for her weight, 37th for her height, and 11th for her head...still a small little thing, but from where she started I think she's pretty big. I think she looks bigger than she really is because much of the weight has resided in her cheeks. Just like her mama, the first sign of weight gain goes straight to her face. She is really a good baby and sleeps anywhere from 5-7 hours at night. I have been pumping for the last 2 months since she struggled a little with nursing in the beginning, but last week I tried nursing her for the first time since her first week of life and she picked it up so easily. Definitely the backwards way to do things and I don't know if anyone has done that before, but it seems to work for us and I'm stoked about it. She also seems to be a happier baby. She was originally the gruntiest baby you've ever heard, but ever since nursing she has toned it way down. I'm guessing maybe there are less air bubbles in her belly, but what do I know. Here are some pictures of this sweet thang...

Starting to smile all the time now...
Walter has yet to care one bit about this new person in our home, but I'm positive they'll be best buds before too long (this is just about the closest he has come in proximity to her)...
Indie loves to be talked to and tries so hard to talk back...
In other news, we will be living in North Carolina for the summer and will be leaving April 13th to head out there. Trey loves to choose the farthest areas for our summer residency, but strangely enough, I love the hot humidity and we always get lucky with that on the east coast.

I should have Indie's birth announcements tomorrow so if you'd like one and don't think I'd have your address you can email it to me...jwoo42@hotmail.com

Gosh, she's beautiful

We are so in love with this little girl.


And we like Bri, too, for taking her pictures...and for many other reasons :)

A little sneak peek!

Bri did a great job taking pictures of our little princess and family. You can see more on her blog if you want!

Here she is...Indie Lyn Warner

On Monday morning (January 3), I woke up at 2am to my water breaking. We went to the hospital about two hours later and the nurse told me I was barely dilated to a 1. Awesome! After three hours of no progress and being hooked up to many monitors (Indie's heart rate kept dropping), they gave me some Pitocin to try to get things moving. That also caused her heart rate to drop so my doctor told me we were in for a long day and Indie might not arrive until the following morning. However, Indie kicked it into high gear and I was fully dilated just 5 hours later. What a blessing! This is Trey and I right before they gave me the go-ahead to start pushing.
I hate to be that person but I seriously pushed for 15 minutes tops and Indie flew out of me. Everyone kinda jumped back because she came out so unexpectedly fast. They had many nurses in the room waiting for her since they weren't sure what her condition would be once she came out with all the heart rate droppage, but luckily they didn't need to be used at all. The little girl was absolutely perfect, weighing in at 5lbs 7 oz, 19 inches long. Here's my team of amazing people that helped bring Indie into the world...
When they let me hold her, she was wide awake and staring right at me. They kept her extremely bundled because she was so tiny and they said she had no fat on her to keep her warm.
She got to wear this sweet hat the whole time in the hospital to help keep her temperature up. I thought it was pretty funny since it was so huge, but she didn't seem to mind.
The proud father holding his little girl, who looks very much like him!When she is awake, she is very awake and alert. We don't get to see this too often, but every now and again she will shock us and stay up for nearly an hour.
I just don't think this picture does justice to show how small this little thing is. She doesn't fill out anything, including her own skin. It's so loose on her body, it's hilarious!
My friend, Bri, came over today and took some pictures of Indie so hopefully those will be available soon so you can see her cute little naked body! Overall, the whole day was pretty amazing with how everything worked out. I was never nervous like I thought I would be and never worried that anything would be wrong with my little baby. We are so happy that she is here and even happier that she decided to grace us with her presence 11 days early. I was planning to be induced a week early just because they knew she was small and thought she might have a heart arrhythmia but I guess she didn't think that was soon enough. Thank heavens!

Is there sugar in syrup?

After years of being told he looks like Will Ferrell, I finally convinced Trey to dress up as Buddy the Elf. He's never embraced his celeb look alike status, but this year I practically forced it on him. And since I'm fat with child, I thought being Santa with a natural big belly would fit perfectly.
Our doctor/friend let Trey borrow this nice, velvet costume, while mine was of the homemade sort. Not quite as fancy, but it got the job done.
Jenna and her little family were perfectly coordinated. Cash's costume even had pads in the shirt and pants.
Ash and her two kids were jockeys, while Cam had absolutely no coordination with them and was a rocker of some sort.
I didn't get pictures of the other two families but we did take a group shot. We had a great time partying as much as we know how when Monday Night Football is on simultaneously.
In all honesty, I don't love Halloween and I hate the pressure of dressing up. I prefer to leave my house and turn the lights off to avoid trick-or-treaters. The kids are cute and all, but when the truckloads of teenagers show up, it's not so cute anymore. This annual party with my family, however, is actually something I look forward to since we can all make fun of each other and look ridiculous without actually going in public. Tomorrow night, however, Trey and I will be in public in our costumes and you better believe we are for sure not dressing like this. It'll be much more toned down.

The Relaxi Taxi

Recently, Trey's lease on his car ended and we decided to be a little more thrifty so instead of getting him a new car, he downgraded to my Xterra and I downgraded to one of the summer work vans! Minivans aren't necessarily considered cool, but they're probably even less cool when you don't even have kids to put in them. Here's what I'm cruising in these days...
It may not be cool, but it sure is hard to deny the convenience of a minivan. I can only imagine how nice it will be when the baby comes. If you're jealous that I get to drive this car around the town, just let me know because we have another one just like it (a white version) parked side-by-side in the garage that we will sell you! I know, it's tempting.

Last Vacation Before the Baby

My parents did something pretty awesome and took 5 of their 6 children (with spouses) on a cruise to the Caribbean last week. We had a great time and I definitely added some pounds to my 26 week pregnant bod. We ate ALL the time. Here's a shot of the group one night at dinner, minus my parents, who were nice enough to babysit the 6 grandkids that came on the cruise at the other table.
Of all the places I've been in the Caribbean, Jamaica is one of my favorites, only because of those waterfalls you see in the back of the picture below. It's about a 2 hour hike up them and so much fun. Other than that, Jamaica is dirty. So dirty.
This was our last port in Cozumel Mexico. My poor ankles turned to cankles after walking around so much through all the shops and on the beach, but luckily they went away a few days later.
These were the waitresses we had through the whole week. Ezgi on the right, Devvy on the left. They are the reason I look fat here. They just kept bringing out more food!
These boys are all smiling now, but maybe I shoulda taken another picture when their luck was running out.
This baby will be here before we know it and this trip was a great last one to have before she gets here. Thanks again mom and dad for hookin' us all up!

Furniture Refinishing Class

My sister Ashley is amazing when it comes to finding old, outdated furniture in the classifieds or at thrift stores and then bringing it home and refinishing it to make it look completely awesome. She's going to be teaching a class in about a month to help other people learn how to do this. She makes some pretty good money when she buys an old dresser for $25 and then turns around and sells it for $250. Not bad, huh? She's helped me finish an old cradle and I'm already trying to think of new things I can do.

You can check out her blog and see the info on the class and some of the pieces she has refinished or just read her info on it below:

Ok, it's official, the date will be Saturday, October 16th, 10:00am-12:00pm at my home for the small price of $35 :) . Please let me know if you're planning on coming as soon as possible. You can either leave me a comment on my blog, facebook, or call, text, or email me (ashleytreu@gmail.com) if you have any questions. I'll be going over pretty much everything you need to know to start refinishing furniture- or whatever it is that you want to refinish! It will be a hands-on class so you'll learn and get a feel for what you're doing and I'll teach you tricks and tips I've learned the hard way :) . Hopefully that date works for any of you who are interested, if not, hopefully this will be the first class of many! Thanks!

It's a Girl!

I totally forgot to blog about this but we found out last Wednesday that we are having a girl. We found out a little early so there is definitely still a margin of error but the doctor said he was 100% sure so we're taking his word for it. Trey was absolutely shocked. I think he had the deer-in-the-headlights look for about 2 hours following our appointment...he thought for sure it was a boy.

People told me I'd go crazy buying things once we found out what we were having, but for some reason I have no desire. I have not purchased one single baby thing. I would rather give someone I trust my credit card and tell them to get everything I need for the baby and then decorate a nursery. Any takers?

Multiples or Singleton?

Once upon a time we did In Vitro and transferred 3 embryos. Oh wait, I already told you that long drawn out story. Well, after we got pregnant, they told us that around 7 weeks we could find out how many embryos had actually implanted. We could be having triplets for all we knew. We moved out to New Jersey when I was just about 4 1/2 weeks along so I got online and found some random doctor under my insurance list to go to. I made the appointment for an ultrasound on the day I would be exactly 7 weeks. When I was about 6 weeks and 5 days, Trey decided he didn't want to wait the extra two days so I called our doctor to see if we could come in that day. I called over and over and every time got a machine saying they were closed. It was a Tuesday so I didn't really believe the machine. Being impatient as we are, we drove over to the doctor's office to call their bluff. They were, indeed, closed. Dangit.

So we drove back to our apartment and I got online to check the insurance list for more potential doctors. I called the first one but they said we couldn't come in until the next day because our insurance would have to be verified. Click. I called the next one and the receptionist said we could come in right away, no insurance needed, just pay upfront. You know if you can get in to see a doctor that day they probably aren't your best option, but we were too anxious to care.

We pulled up to the South Jersey Women's Center and went through the first set of doors. Weird, we had to be buzzed in through the next set. Oh well, the place smells gross and not at all doctor-like but I go up to the front window and pay for the ultrasound. The receptionist hands me a cup to pee in. "Is there a cabinet to put it in once I'm done?" "No, just walk it back out and give it to me, " she says. Gross. Lucky for me there's no one else in the waiting room. Nobody wants to see someone else holding a cup of fresh, warm pee. I do my thing, hand her the cup, and sit down, waiting to be called back.

As Trey and I are sitting in the waiting room, we're looking around and noticing this isn't a normal doctor's office. There are posters all over with Obama's face on them, promoting change. There are pro-abortion decals on the receptionist's window and "free to choose" stickers all over the place. Have I been sheltered living in Utah for 8 years? Is this a normal doctor's office?

The nurse calls my name and we both get up to walk back together. The nurse stops Trey and says, "Sorry sir, you're not allowed back here." Oh okay, maybe they'll come get him when they're ready? She takes me to another empty waiting room and I start texting Trey..."What is this crazy place? I am alone back here, go ask the receptionist if you can come back..."

Meanwhile, Trey has made conversation with a random man in the waiting room, asking him questions like, "So is that your wife back there? Are you guys finding out what you're having?" Normal questions potential dads might ask each other in a normal waiting room. He gets my text and goes up to the front desk.

He asks the lady, "Don't I get to be back there with my wife?"
"No sir, I'm sorry."
"But in the movies, the guy is standing next to his wife and they get to see their baby on the screen for the first time together, right? So why can't I go back"
"Sir, due to the nature of what we do here, we have to respect the privacy of the women back there and so that's why men are not allowed back."
Trey notices the decals on the window and sees a piece of paper taped to the wall which is in memory of some doctor who was murdered, who was still doing 3rd trimester abortions.
"Wait," Trey says, "Is this an abortion place?" loud enough for the 4-5 people in the waiting room to hear him.
"Yes sir."
Oh dear, Trey takes his seat.

I've now been called back to my room and am completely second guessing this whole thing. I have the darkest, sickest feeling in my gut. I don't remember a smile on any of the faces I'd seen. The doctor and nurse come in, completely expressionless. The doctor is rude; he can't understand why I wouldn't be using my IVF dr. for this ultrasound. Clearly sir, the insurance list didn't make a side note to tell me what this place really was. Can you just do the ultrasound and let me go? So he does the ultrasound. I have to ask him how many are in there and he just says, "One. You're about 6-7 weeks. Good luck." And out they both go. Wow, I think I dressed in 15 seconds and was out just as quickly as they were.

I walked out to Trey and held up one finger to him. We both smiled and got the H-E-double hockey sticks outta there.

So creepy. Glad I'm still pregnant.

In Vitro Part 3

After our first attempt at in vitro had failed, we decided we didn't want to waste any time before trying again. Every year, we move away for the summer for Trey's job so we really only had 2-3 months before we'd be leaving again. We spoke with the nurse and got things underway to be in the April grouping for the next round of IVF.

I felt extremely nervous from the beginning. I second guessed my gut feelings and intuition. With the first IVF cycle, I felt good throughout the whole thing. I felt like I was pregnant. My own intuition had failed me. This second time around, I wanted to really know if it was the right thing to do so we wouldn't be throwing away so much money again. I had more negative feelings this time, but I know it was coming from a more pessimistic version of myself, the bitter side of me that didn't think we would ever get pregnant. If it was up to me, we probably would've waited a while to try again. I felt like we were spending so much money and my stupid body was just going to fail me again. I relied completely on Trey to make this decision and without hesitation, he said the money didn't matter and we would try again and it would work.

As much as I didn't love the shots before, I was actually anxious to start them and get things going. I documented so much of the first IVF with pictures and whatnot, but the second time I did nothing. I didn't want to jinx it or have memories of it not working. My biggest fear this time around was actually a new shot I'd have to be taking everyday in my upper butt and the needle was much bigger than my usual half inchers. This would be a thicker, longer needle and if I did get pregnant, I'd have to continue it for 9 weeks into my pregnancy. Yikes.

Things were much better from the beginning and to make this story shorter, I'm going to jump ahead. When the retrieval was all said and done, we went in for the embryo transfer. This time, our doctor's lab was complete so we only had to drive 10 minutes instead of all the way to Boise. They brought us back and showed us what we had to work with...4 healthy embryos this time! Though there was a risk of multiples, I felt good about implanting 3 and nobody was going to change my mind about that. So they put in 3 and we froze the 4th and went home to rest for a few days.

Luckily for me, my mom was in town and made it so I never had to move a muscle. She cooked for us and cleaned when she got bored. It was wonderful. But she also had to wait out the 10 days with us. I hate that wait. By the first night, I had cramps already. Of course, I cried. This was a bad sign last time around and I was sure it was menstrual cramps this time too. Trey calmed me down and tried to help me stay positive. Every day I tried to notice symptoms, but it was so hard because I was on so many different drugs that had so many side effects, I didn't have a clue what was going on with my body. If I ever felt any bit of hope, I never told Trey because I didn't want him to get his hopes up. Around day 6, I remember sitting on my bed at night and telling Trey that I didn't think it had worked, I didn't think I was pregnant. I still, to this day, don't know if he was just faking it for my sake or if he really believed it, but he told me that night that he thought I was pregnant and I needed to stay positive. I didn't believe him so I dropped the conversation.

The next few days I was more exhausted than I had ever felt in my life. I took naps during the day and was in bed by 10:00...not my style at all. My mom and Trey would give each other suspicious looks as if they knew I was pregnant and I would just roll my eyes. Blame it on the drugs, don't get your hopes up, I'd tell myself. On day 8, I went in for a blood test and then had to return again on day 10 for another. I went in by myself both times and on the 10th day, the nurses were very giddy with me. They asked how I was feeling and asked if I'd taken a pregnancy test yet. I told them no way, I did that last time and it had backfired. I wasn't about to do it again. After nurse Brenda took my blood, she kept asking me all these questions. So I finally said, "Do you know something?" and she said smiling, "Maybe..." I said, "Does that mean the first test was positive?" She smiled and told me that yes it was. I said, "So unless something crazy happens, this second test will be positive too?" And again, she told me yes. I couldn't believe it. I drove to my sister's right after and didn't tell anyone. I was skeptical and wanted to hear the official phone call later that day before revealing anything. I did, however, call Trey and let him know. He was with the contractor working on one of our rental properties, so that guy was officially the first one to find out we were pregnant. How special!

Once again, the doctor's office took forever to call us with the results. Trey ended up calling them and asked Brenda if they had any news for us. She told him to hold on and came back a few minutes later. I have the whole conversation recorded because this time, I knew it was going to be good news. When she got back on the phone, she said, "Well...I have really good news for you. Yes, yes you are. It is definitely positive." On the recording, you then hear Trey screaming and laughing really loud. She went on to tell us some numbers and how great everything looked because those numbers were so high. We thanked her and hung up the phone. I think I remember Trey high-fiving me, kissing me, and hugging me. I can't believe I didn't cry at this point. But I sure did once we started making the phone calls. I called my mom first, who was over at my sister Jenna's house. I guess Jenna had a bunch of her in-laws over so when I told my mom the news, everyone over there started crying too. Called Ashley...cried again. And on and on with all the phone calls.

The road was long and definitely hard, but we are so happy now and closer as a couple than we ever would have been had we gotten pregnant right away. Trey has been the rock in our marriage by always staying positive and never once making me feel like I was to blame for the infertility. It was hard on both of us, but he was able to see the bigger picture and knew that we would get pregnant someday. I love him and I am sure glad he was right.

In Vitro Part 2

I was scheduled to start my shots December 31st. I remember that day because my baby sister gave birth to her son that afternoon. This time around, I was cleared to begin. Have you ever had a needle in your hand and been told to stab yourself in the stomach with it? How bout 4 times a day? That was a little nerve racking for me. Some women have their husbands do it but I didn't want to have to plan my 4 shots a day around Trey's schedule. After a few days of shots in the stomach, I had to switch to my thighs because my stomach was so sore. After my thighs got sore, I'd switch back to my stomach. It was only 2 weeks though, I knew I could handle it. Here's what I was working with...



After about a week and a half had gone by, we had an appointment for an ultrasound to see how the drugs had affected my ovaries. The drugs were follicle stimulating hormones, designed to produce as many eggs as they could muster up for that one cycle. With a normal woman on a normal cycle without drugs, you'd produce one a month. This is the appointment where you get excited because you get to see how many eggs you'll get to work with.

The nurse was the one who did my ultrasound, but after about 3 minutes with us she left the room. Probably not a good sign, I thought. She came back and told us that she had called the doctor to come over and check for himself because she wasn't seeing much activity in there. Our doctor showed up about 10 minutes later and confirmed that we only had one egg to do this upcoming in vitro with. He explained how slim the odds were with just one...not only does that one egg have a 60% chance of fertilizing but then it's got just a 50% chance of surviving the 3 day development and then after that a 33% chance of implanting and getting pregnant. Or in other words, it would take a major miracle for this to work. Trey and I were praying for that miracle and did not want to give up on that one little egg so we decided to continue forward.

For the actual egg retrieval and embryo transfer, we had to travel to Boise because our doctor's lab was not complete in Utah. Day 1 was the egg retrieval, where they put me out for half an hour, removed the egg and sent us on our way to wait it out for 24 hours to see if the egg fertilized. We tried to stay busy while we waited so we wouldn't stress and drive ourselves crazy. That, however, is hard to do in Boise, ID. The following day, we waited all morning for a call and never got one. We continued to wait until 3:00 when we just got too impatient and Trey decided to call them. They didn't answer so we actually drove over to the doctor's office to find out for ourselves. I made Trey go in to get the news because I didn't want to get bad news in front of anyone. I waited in the car for about 10 minutes and then looked up as Trey came running out of the office shooting his arms up and down in the air. It had worked! That one egg made it through the 60% and fertilized. Now we just had 2 more days to kill, waiting to see if it could survive and be a good embryo.

Two days of boredom later, we went back to the doctor for the embryo transfer. They hadn't told us if our embryo made it and I was so nervous. A nurse came out to the waiting room and gave me a Valium to take. That was my answer...they wouldn't give me this drug unless we were going through with the transfer. They brought us back and showed us a picture of our embryo that was the best it could have been. All these miracles were happening right before us and I could not believe that this was really going on. Luckily for us, my parents drove down from Washington the night before to hang out with us so they got to be in the room during the transfer. We all joked that not many grandparents are in the room when their grandchildren are conceived.

After the transfer, I had to take it easy for a few days so we drove back to Utah immediately. We then had the long wait of 10 days to find out if we were pregnant or not. I had read all about pregnancy symptoms, trying to know my body before those 10 days, which was probably a mistake looking back. Every time I felt anything different, I would think, oh man this is it, I've got to be pregnant. Trey and I both felt that so many miracles had happened to get us this far that it just wouldn't make sense if we weren't pregnant. On day 8, I decided to take a pregnancy test to confirm my feelings. It came out negative and I was devastated, but still had hope since it was a little early. We went to church a few hours later and I remember this moment so vividly. We were singing a hymn and in the song the line read, "For courage to accept Thy will..." After that I broke down. I had just had my own confirmation that I was not pregnant. I knew it. We left church soon after because I could not stop crying and did not want others to see me like that.

Two days later, we waited around all morning for the phone call to tell us whether or not we were pregnant. Even though I didn't think I was, I still had a tiny ounce of hope that I was wrong. All of our friends and family knew we were getting the news this day so they were also anxious to hear. After 1:30pm, we got impatient and Trey called in to get the results. They told him they would call between 2-3. So we waited a little while longer and then my phone rang. I handed it to Trey to answer. I didn't want to be the one to get the bad news. Trey answered and the woman explained she was calling from the doctor's office to give us our results. I remember her saying "Unfortunately, your blood tests were negative. I'm sorry." Trey held it together to talk to her a bit, but I was already sobbing next to him and as soon as he hung up, he joined me.

We cried together for maybe 30 minutes and then decided we should probably let our friends and family know. I think we both sent out mass text messages because neither one of us felt like talking about it. That was a very hard day for both of us. We were back to square one and didn't understand why it was so hard for us when so many others got pregnant so easily. We spent the afternoon together, crying off and on and then went to Taco Bell for some comfort food. I remember holding back tears while I sat and ate. I also remember seeing the word "fart" etched in pencil on the table we were eating at. And that put a smile on my face and I knew we were going to be okay. Look close in the pink stripe and you'll see it too.



Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 3.