Gotta Love 'Em

Whether you're married to a man or not, you have at least had boyfriends or brothers or hopefully fathers. You've been around men enough to know that most of their quirks are not unique to just them, but seem to come with the species.

This post is motivated, of course, by something my special husband did that may be surprising to some, but not to anyone who knows a man. Not just any man, but a man who finds himself helpless in seemingly simple situations. A man who, for some reason, though grown well into adulthood, finds himself vulnerable and childlike when in the presence of a woman. A man who is the epitome of the Youtube video "Man Cold." This man is the kind who will tell you he can't find something he has searched everywhere for, upon which you move one very obvious item to discover the missing "something." The man whose idea of doing the dishes is rinsing them with water and returning them to the wrong cupboards. The man who you won't even let do the dishes anymore because it's just too much hassle to undo the damage. My man doesn't do any of these things, but my attention has been brought to this question...are men really this helpless or are they manipulating us into thinking they are so we will give up and do the work ourselves?

I never considered the manipulation idea until I was enlightened by "Everybody Loves Raymond" a few years back. Raymond's brother, Robert, was getting married and he was semi-annoyed with all the pre-wedding tasks, but felt obligated to be a help to his fiance. Raymond offered advice from his own experience to just do a bad job, offer bad suggestions...basically do poorly whatever was asked of him. This way, the fiance would appreciate him for still trying, but would slowly let him off the hook. Genius, I thought. Do men really do this in real life? Was my husband one step ahead of me? A few nights ago, my question was answered.

Trey takes Ambien on occasion to help him sleep, but the effects can often be annoying to me, ie: he does/says weird things he doesn't always remember in the morning, until the moment he does fall asleep he won't stop talking, etc...) So I decided we should also try a more natural sleep aid called Melatonin. The second night we had the pills, I took one and left the bottle by the kitchen sink. Trey asked me a few minutes later where the Melatonin was and I told him where I'd put it. The next day, I saw some pills on Trey's nightstand. Walter, our dog, sometimes has a bad habit of eating his own poop. It's disgusting, but apparently not too uncommon. I went to the pet store to get some pills to remedy this and had left them on the kitchen counter...nowhere near the Melatonin. However, Trey picked up the first bottle he saw and popped the pills without a second thought. He did notice they were very grainy and pretty gross tasting but went right on swallowing. The second I saw the dog pills on his nightstand I knew what had happened. He'd mistaken the don't-eat-your-own-poop pills for his sleep aid medicine. I told him the pills were in the kitchen and he didn't doubt me for a second, not even enough to actually read the medicine label.

And that's when it occurred to me...men really are that helpless. They trust us women with their lives. They may not clean so great or find things so great or be sick so great, but they sure can trust us pretty well. We can't blame them if their natural inclinations are not to clean at the first sight of mess or take care of themselves when they have a minor cough. I love that Trey can rely on me for absolutely anything and he knows that I will always come through for him. I'd rather have a man who trusts me to the fullest than one who can clean my house. At least that's what I'll tell myself as I slave over the dishes.

And just in case you were wondering, the pills worked. Trey didn't eat his own poop the next day.