Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Jake your tears are fake

Who else was extremely disappointed with last night's episode? For me, it was lacking in the drama that The Bachelor is typically used to so they ended up focusing all their air time on Ali's weeping and wailing. Once upon a time I liked Ali. Now I hate her. The end. In the beginning, Ali was in my top 2. I thought I had good judgment, but after watching her last night I have lost all credibility. I used to think she was pretty. Now all I see is bean teeth, a witch nose, and messy ponytails. Poor girl lost respect that took her weeks to earn in less than 5 minutes. I feel like she came to Jake with her ultimatum hoping he would beg her to stay. Why are the producers allowing this Ed/Jillian repeat? Been there, done that. But please, Ali, do not come back like Ed did.

First home date...Gia. Is her brother a Jersey Shore guido or what? And her poor mother with that intuition that is going to prove to be dead wrong next Monday. Sorry mama Gia but you're a bit off just like your Taro cards. Who else thinks Gia and Ellen Pompeo could be sisters of a different ethnicity? It's that creepy joker mouth. My final observation of the cheesy lines with Jake for a 1990's Meg Ryan "Ever been kissed on a stoop?...No...Should we change that?" or "Is it okay to fall?" Sure, if I can kick you while you're down there.

Tenley is easily my pick for Jake and I'd be surprised if anybody disagrees with me. There really isn't much competition at this point. They are both just so nice. Tenley would make a better Relief Society President than I ever would, I'm pretty sure of that. If only we could just erase that awkward dance she choreographed for Jake.

Vienna Vienna Vienna. What can I say about you? Maybe that I think you're a tranny. Or that your hair extensions look ridiculous. Or that you would not have made it past the first rose ceremony if I was the bachelor. Or that you put out more than any other girl, which might be the reason you're still here. In short, I don't like you. I didn't like Jillian either though and Jake was in love with her.

As much as I love the Bachelor, I'm almost ready for this season to be over so we can start a new one. If Michelle was still here, I might be more into it. She was great, wasn't she?


Patrick and Hollie Davis said...

So happy to see that you are back! Good call on all of the dates bbut can you add that Ali also has really annoying legs that make her walk look really weird. She is driving me nuts!

Cait said...

Bahahahahah I love you Jami - and I love how accurately you described this Bachelor episode. I am 100% on your side with everything you just posted. Ha I love it.

Krista said...

YES! THis is what i've been waiting for ALL season.

And yeah ... that dance...awkward.

Krista said...

Hit it dead on honey. I used to love Ali. I just laughed this episode. It was very entertaining. Can't stand Vienna. Love Tenley. Hopefully she will be able to move on and stop mentioning her ex. She's not over him yet. Poor girl. Jami, we're glad you're back.

Andrew and Jenna said...

The episode sucked for sure, but this post is possibly your best bachelor post yet. So good, I read it twice, and laughed out loud both times. So glad you're back :)