Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I suck at blogging, forgive me

We went to Washington for Thanksgiving but somehow I failed to take any pictures worthy of this blog. We had a great time, but you will never know how great since there are no pictures to prove it. I did manage to take a million pictures of Taya so maybe you can stay tuned to Ashley's blog to see those. Moving on to December...

Our ward had an ugly Christmas sweater party last night, which seems to be a popular party theme around here as of late. I remember having one of those about 6 years ago and there were so many great sweaters to choose from at the local thrift store, but I went this past week and they were few and far between. What Trey lacked in a sweater, though, he definitely made up for in other ways...

Trey and Scott wanted to take a fruity picture together and we have laughed so hard over this one because they really do look "together" if you know what I mean.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

October Sum Up

So much has happened since I last blogged, but most importantly, we moved back to Utah. Praise the heavens above for the six months we get to relax and gear up for the next summer move. What have I done since being home? A little bit of everything and a lot more of nothing. It's been great.

Ashley had her baby a few weeks ago so my parents came from Washington for that. My mom spent a lot of time helping Ash, but somehow fit me in too and accomplished so much at my house! My dad framed our whole basement in about 3 days and now we just have a few weeks left of work before it's all done. He was amazing down there and Trey even got to learn a few things from him and help a lot.
I did a lot of standing around and observing, but helped a little by sawing wood and standing up walls. Other than that, hopefully I was just good company to my dad when he was working alone.
Ashley was in the hospital for 4-5 days and her daughter wasn't allowed there thanks to silly swine flu business, which meant lots of Jami/Taya time. She is one 2 year old that I could spend all day, day after day, with and never get sick of. We are best friends. I was pretty proud of the pumpkins my mom and I carved to announce the birth of Dodger. Taya reminded me to light them every time I came over, which was probably pretty close to every other night or more. The weather has been in the 60s since we got home, but I'm starting to get excited for the cold. I picked up my season snowboarding pass today so that might have something to do with my excitement. I need girlfriends who like to ski/snowboard this season cause Ash will be in recovery and I'm gonna be able to go much more than Trey. Otherwise, it's just me and the iPod. Any takers?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Pointless. Totally pointless.

Out here in Kansas, I have way too much time on my hands. And that is an understatement. I work for my husband's company, but that work takes up about 30 minutes of my day. The other 15-16 hours are left wide open. I check my blog list at least once every couple of hours to see if anyone in my sidebar has updated their blog. I wish you would all update every single day just to give me something to do. If you are not in my sidebar, send me a link to your blog so I can have additional reading material. Please. I'm bored.

On account of my boredom, I've taken up a new shopping. I'm a social shopper, which means when I have no friends in Kansas to shop with, I don't make it to the mall too often. I don't go shopping with a list of things I need and only leave with those things. I go with an open mind, a friend or two, and come home with things I definitely don't need. I like it that way. Take all these factors into account and I am a perfect candidate for these online sites. And not just any site but the ones with the sales. The ones that are all about the daily deals so it's easy to justify spending money, even though you never would have bought the item had you walked past it in the store. Something about knowing I saved money and anticipating the package is too hard to resist. Take this for example...two days ago I was directed to a daily deal for an innovative baby bottle shaped just like a boob, proclaiming to help babies eat better when they can't be breastfed. I don't have a baby or even one on the way, but I just couldn't resist how cool it sounded. I even researched a little and discovered that J.Lo buys those bottles so you better believe I have 6 on the way.

I used to have about 4 sites I'd check every few hours to scope out the latest deal but then I found a website called that combines every daily deal site into one. Whiskey Militia and Brociety are easily the top sites, but there are some other good ones on there too if you wanna check it out.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Three years ago, Trey and I lived in San Diego while he managed an office selling security systems. One day while out selling, he spotted something moving in the grass. With no regard for the sale he was in, Trey abruptly asked his customer for a bucket and some gloves. What he came home with that night was something he called an alligator lizard or something I called a bad word. After explaining the sentimental reasons for this stupid lizard (I guess they had one growing up named Jordan), I decided to allow him to keep it as long as I didn't have to ever touch it, feed it, interact with it, etc...

Trey put the alligator lizard (I can't just say lizard or you will think it's cute. This thing was hissing at me) in a cardboard box until we could get a more permanent home for it. The next day, Trey left for work and left me alone, in the same house with the reptile. All afternoon I could hear this thing crawling around the box, which creeped me out to say the least. What creeped me out even more, however, was when I couldn't hear it anymore.

I went over to the box to check on the alligator and sure enough, it was gone and in its place, a lizard-sized hole he had chewed through the box. After searching all over the apartment, I found it on the balcony. I called Trey and told him the situation, which was basically that the lizard was gone forever since I wasn't going to touch it. He begged me to get a towel from the bathroom and catch it. If I was a tear shedder, this is where they would've come. Like a stupid wife, I obeyed and attempted to catch the dang thing. Unfortunately it scurried behind the washer, which meant that I had to coax it out by beating it with an unwound hanger. Just my luck. And after that proved unsuccessful, I watched as the lizard ran through a hole in the exterior wall. All that work for nothing.

Trey heard the full story when he got home and rather than feeling sorry for the trauma I had incurred, he suggested we go to the pet store to replace his day old friend. So what do you think happened? Well, we came home with a snake, tank, and a freezer full of frozen mice. The lizard was looking good at this point. Trey left for work the next day, not only leaving me alone with another reptile, but also accidentally leaving the top of the tank open. Later that evening, I realized I couldn't see the snake and noticed the open lid. The tank was on our kitchen counter so after looking EVERYWHERE, I assumed maybe the snake went down the sink. I assumed this mostly to help myself feel better about Trey not being home for many more hours.

Trey came home that night and once again, rather than feeling sorry for me, he decided we should go buy another snake as a replacement. Sure enough, we brought home one more snake. What was I thinking allowing this? That night, Trey went to bed and I decided to stay up and watch a movie. When the movie was over, I walked passed the kitchen and saw the snake out of the tank and on the counter. I panicked. How did this one get out? I would have to wake Trey up since I was not about to catch it and return it to the tank. But wait, there was already a snake in the tank. Snake on the counter=snake we thought we lost. Awesome. Two snakes. Kill me.

I was reminded of this story a few nights ago when Trey told me we were getting a new pet...a snapping turtle. Regular turtle, no problem. Snapping turtle, problem. One of Trey's guys found it in his neighborhood and knew Trey would love it, so he brought it home to join the Warner family. Trey got a home all set up for it and, though it was so tiny, I could not bring myself to go near it. The word "snapping" just ran through my mind and I was afraid the stupid thing would bite me. And before I allowed Trey to put this turtle in yet, another cardboard box, I made sure he wouldn't be able to chew his way through it. Why am I such a wuss? Here's Trey with the tiny little turtle.
Aww, so cute. What a nice little pet, even though it still creeps me out to hear it walking on the cardboard. But wait, that thing is just a baby, which only means that it won't stay tiny forever. Maybe we should google it and see how big this thing plans on getting. And this picture is no joke. Our tiny little turtle is only years away from becoming this...
And now the tiny turtle has become a resident of the lake behind our house. I think I'm done allowing Trey to bring home pets he finds in the hood.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Gotta Love 'Em

Whether you're married to a man or not, you have at least had boyfriends or brothers or hopefully fathers. You've been around men enough to know that most of their quirks are not unique to just them, but seem to come with the species.

This post is motivated, of course, by something my special husband did that may be surprising to some, but not to anyone who knows a man. Not just any man, but a man who finds himself helpless in seemingly simple situations. A man who, for some reason, though grown well into adulthood, finds himself vulnerable and childlike when in the presence of a woman. A man who is the epitome of the Youtube video "Man Cold." This man is the kind who will tell you he can't find something he has searched everywhere for, upon which you move one very obvious item to discover the missing "something." The man whose idea of doing the dishes is rinsing them with water and returning them to the wrong cupboards. The man who you won't even let do the dishes anymore because it's just too much hassle to undo the damage. My man doesn't do any of these things, but my attention has been brought to this question...are men really this helpless or are they manipulating us into thinking they are so we will give up and do the work ourselves?

I never considered the manipulation idea until I was enlightened by "Everybody Loves Raymond" a few years back. Raymond's brother, Robert, was getting married and he was semi-annoyed with all the pre-wedding tasks, but felt obligated to be a help to his fiance. Raymond offered advice from his own experience to just do a bad job, offer bad suggestions...basically do poorly whatever was asked of him. This way, the fiance would appreciate him for still trying, but would slowly let him off the hook. Genius, I thought. Do men really do this in real life? Was my husband one step ahead of me? A few nights ago, my question was answered.

Trey takes Ambien on occasion to help him sleep, but the effects can often be annoying to me, ie: he does/says weird things he doesn't always remember in the morning, until the moment he does fall asleep he won't stop talking, etc...) So I decided we should also try a more natural sleep aid called Melatonin. The second night we had the pills, I took one and left the bottle by the kitchen sink. Trey asked me a few minutes later where the Melatonin was and I told him where I'd put it. The next day, I saw some pills on Trey's nightstand. Walter, our dog, sometimes has a bad habit of eating his own poop. It's disgusting, but apparently not too uncommon. I went to the pet store to get some pills to remedy this and had left them on the kitchen counter...nowhere near the Melatonin. However, Trey picked up the first bottle he saw and popped the pills without a second thought. He did notice they were very grainy and pretty gross tasting but went right on swallowing. The second I saw the dog pills on his nightstand I knew what had happened. He'd mistaken the don't-eat-your-own-poop pills for his sleep aid medicine. I told him the pills were in the kitchen and he didn't doubt me for a second, not even enough to actually read the medicine label.

And that's when it occurred to really are that helpless. They trust us women with their lives. They may not clean so great or find things so great or be sick so great, but they sure can trust us pretty well. We can't blame them if their natural inclinations are not to clean at the first sight of mess or take care of themselves when they have a minor cough. I love that Trey can rely on me for absolutely anything and he knows that I will always come through for him. I'd rather have a man who trusts me to the fullest than one who can clean my house. At least that's what I'll tell myself as I slave over the dishes.

And just in case you were wondering, the pills worked. Trey didn't eat his own poop the next day.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Where would I be without my iPhone

Right now I'm coming at you live from my iPhone, which on an everyday basis is, in theory, retarded in my opinion. No one would rather blog from their phone than from a nice Macbook. Today, however, I've run across some bad luck. After getting out of the shower, the doorbell rang. I went downstairs, turban towel and all, answered the door to a mean electricity man telling me he was shutting off my electricity since I haven't paid my bill since February. Funny, since I've lived here one month and the company takes care of my utilities. Too bad, he doesn't care that my name is not Collin Gehl. He doesn't care that my hair is still wet and could use the electricity to run thru my blow dryer. He simply flips the switch to the off position and leaves, not without showing me that Collin's balance is 420 something dollars. Normally, I could survive this situation. Normally, my husband wouldn't have gone out of town this morning and left me carless. Normally, I wouldn't be stranded in the middle of Kansas with no friends, family, Internet or cable. Aside from all that, I called the electrical company and luckily they can't come for two days. Goodbye delicious produce and other food I bought at Costco yesterday. Hello tears. I called Trey to see if he could rescue this damsel and sure enough, he did...mostly. I guess the company forgot to take care of the utility situation and were getting right on it because as the lady on the phone put it, I was in panic mode. Wouldn't you be? After waiting for an update, I learned that the soonest they can turn my power back on is sometime tomorrow. My survival skills kicked in as I loaded up a huge suitcase full of fridge/freezer food and dragged it down one flight of stairs and up another into our empty office fridge. I only spilled pickle juice and salsa everywhere. Other than that, no problems. Here's the part in my story where I'm proud of myself. I did dispose of most of the produce as I'm not going to walk to the office everytime I want something but I did decide to make the best of my raspberries by making some jam. Mom would be so proud. It's only been 4 hours and already I'm so bored. But, the moral of the story is, I love my iPhone. I'm a person that needs technology in any form. I'd even read a book if I had one. All I have is my phone and my two dogs to keep me company. And less than 3 hours of daylight until I'm just sitting in the dark. Looks like I'm popping a sleeping pill at 9:00 tonight. Tell me, how would you entertain yourself if you were me? Maybe you're better than me. Maybe you don't need a car or tv or Internet or friends or books or noise or cold food or lights in your bathroom or your hair done. If you don't, maybe you were born a century too late.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Update on Kansas

We moved from Atlanta to a suburb of Kansas City a few weeks ago called Overland Park and shockingly enough, I really like it here. I thought it would be desolate and lame like it sounds but it's actually very nice. We probably live in the nicest city in Kansas, which I guess the rest of the state could be lame. Where was Dorothy from? We got to visit some church history sites last Sunday. The one in the above picture is Adam-Ondi-Ahman, which is basically just a big green parky area if you don't know what went on there or what will go on there. I think we're planning to go to Liberty Jail this Sunday.

My job since we moved here is to babysit this little guy. His mom sells out here and since I quit that long ago, I'm available to watch him for 6 hours a day. He loves playing in this dog cage and sometimes I lock him in there when he's naughty. Just kidding Carrie :)
Life is going good. We move back to Utah in 2 months or so. Is that sad that the only reason I don't want to move back is because there are way better restaurants here?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Bachelorette

This whole season I've always felt like Ed would be chosen in the end, even when I liked others better. Even when others had much better bodies and much longer shorts, Ed just stood out to me and I couldn't understand why until a few weeks ago. I can basically sum it up like this...Ed is a dork and Jillian is a dork. Together, they are perfectly dorky. Side note...Did anyone laugh as hard as I did when they showed the guys getting ready for the final rose and they showed Ed in his boxer briefs? He has received some serious leg time on this show. 

Kiptyn was a nice, cool guy. That second adjective is why he wasn't really in love with Jillian and why it never would have worked. He was cool. She was not. If those two met randomly on the street or got set up outside of reality tv (which I would like to discuss later), maybe they would have gone on two dates. Jillian would have wanted more, but Kiptyn probably wouldn't have given her the time of day. This whole season I felt like he was forcing it for the sake of the show. Maybe it was wonderful and magical at the time, but once their dates/trips weren't paid for by ABC, their relationship would have been over. Deep down, I think Kiptyn knew this and that's why he didn't propose. That's also why he accepted defeat much too easily. That's also why the cameras stayed on him awkwardly too long in the limo waiting for him to shed a tear and he just couldn't do it. Have you seen The Holiday with Cameron Diaz? That's what it reminded me he was trying so hard to cry but he just couldn't muster out a single tear. 

Reid...nice try. You got dumped not once, but twice. The best part is that you were 100% certain she would choose you and those white shoes. You said that you had to pull some serious strings to come back to Hawaii but I'm going to call your bluff on that one. I guarantee ABC was just eating that one up. Oh, the drama! I feel bad for you because you were funny and made fun of Jillian to her face, but life goes on. Mine already did.

I think I laughed more during this episode than any one before it. Jillian's facial expressions were to die for. She kept reminding me of a beaver last night. Fast forward to the last 20 minutes and you'll see it too. Which kind of brings me to my next point...reality tv. Why do they call it that when it definitely isn't? They should call it semi-reality tv. First off, 30 attractive, successful men going after you at the same time is not reality. If it is, I got screwed. Secondly, reality is not traveling to Canada, Spain, Hawaii and wherever else with all these men you've known for weeks. And third and most important, I do not see reality every time Jillian stands on her balcony or a cliff and stares into the distance, pondering all that is before her. What I see is the producers saying, "Ok Jillian we wanna get a shot of you doing this or that. Go stand over there and look over there and pretend to be deep." I'm not buying it. 

I could make fun of this show for many paragraphs more but I will refrain. Many have asked if I will be watching More to Love, the overweight version of the Bachelor. That all depends on how desperate I get for entertainment, but I can tell you now I will not be blogging about it if I do!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

On Sunday we are moving to Kansas City to finish out the rest of the summer so Trey and I decided to at least attempt to visit some of the places Atlanta has to offer before we take off. We started out at the aquarium, which is apparently the largest aquarium in the world. We went in this tunnel under a very large tank full of fish and I think it made me claustrophobic cause I was not feeling so hot afterwards. It was either that or the 8 foot dead squid they had on display. 

This whale shark is supposedly a big attraction here. They have 4 of them that were shipped over from Taiwan thanks to UPS and watching the video on that process was pretty cool. You can pay $225 to swim with them, but we weren't trying to get too crazy. Who spends $500 for one aquarium visit? Just go to the ocean and swim with the sharks for free. 

After the aquarium we walked over to the World of Coca Cola. Coke was invented in Atlanta so they've made an attraction out of it with some exhibits, a 4D movie theater (my favorite), and a tasting room full of different Coke products sold on all the continents. The majority of them made me gag. I think pee probably tastes better than most of the drinks I tasted. Here Trey is toasting his free Coke Zero that they hand out to everybody. 

4D movies are one of my favorite things in life and luckily we got to go see 2 on this day. Even though I always cover my face when the water sprays I can't stop laughing and loving it. The best one I've ever been to was with my mom out here in Atl. So far, nothing has come close to that, but the 2 from this day were still pretty fun. On a side note, I got an iPhone this week and I am in love with it. Why have I not gotten one before now when I am the second biggest Apple lover I know?

Monday, July 13, 2009

28 down, 1 more to go

Well well well. Look who the final two are. The two I initially liked from the beginning. Do I still like them? That's beside the point. I can tell you that I liked Kiptyn more after this episode and apparently Jillian did too. However, when those two are together they tend to turn into Mr. and Mrs. Winky McWinkster. What is it about them winking all the time? Ultimate cheesiness. 

Poor Reid just could not express himself if his life depended on it. I think maybe he'll do better though with a girl he actually has time to get to know and love. I don't blame him for being logical and not falling in love so dang fast. It was funny when they sat on the bench after he got dumped and Reid just would not take a hint and leave. Was he hoping she was going to take it back? He says, "So what do we do now?" And Jillian says, "We say goodbye." Ouch. 

Ok guys, let's not blame Ed for forgetting his swim shorts and having to borrow Jillian's. Wearing hers was better than wearing nothing, right? But seriously, that's where my laugh out loud moment came this week...seeing that first sight of Ed in those shirts and gasping aloud to myself, "What?!" Oh and also, I laughed when Jillian sat on the bench and cried after Reid left. I guess I laugh every time someone cries. Except when Ed's dad cried, that was cute. 

I see Jillian picking Ed in the end. Kiptyn doesn't seem serious enough and Ed is ready to propose and that seems to be the only thing Jillian cares about. She has wanted an engagement from the very beginning and hasn't really considered the possibility that she might need more time. The whole "leap of faith" speech is semi-retarded. I see that to a certain extent, but to take a leap of faith on a ridiculous reality show is one of the dumber things a person can do. 

Monday, July 6, 2009

Don't let the door hit you on the way out

Not only has Kiptyn slowly been climbing down the ranks in my bachelorette book, but after the Spain date, he took a major leap to the bottom. Somebody should sit down with Jillian and have her watch the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" so that she can get a clue as to what's going on in Kiptyn's head. In Kiptyn's defense, Jillian is an awkward girl who seems to fake sincerity so maybe it's hard to have a connection with her naturally. I decided that she is a tomboy who wishes she was more girly and genuine causing her to try too hard to be someone she's not. That's why she blurts out feminine phrases in manly voices. 

Reid actually impressed me more on this episode, but he may have had some help in the fact that he followed Kiptyn's date. I like that Reid jokes around and makes fun of Jillian, but I don't like that he can't seem to talk when it comes to anything serious. Reminds me of myself at 20 and luckily I grew out of that...mostly :) Maybe it's just annoying because Jillian has to fish so hard for compliments. 

At this point, I think it's hard to say who will win in the end. I still hope that it's Ed, but comparing to all previous bachelors, it almost seems that Jillian isn't close enough with any of the guys to be getting engaged any time soon. Who knows though? It could very well be Reid, the guy she said she'd normally never go for but the only one she can really be herself around. 

ABC wasted our time by even having a rose ceremony this week, except to show what a dirtbag Wes is, along with being a horrible dresser (is that brown jacket the nicest thing he owns?). Jillian should've said goodbye to Wes at the end of their date since we all knew he was going home anyways. That was an awkward dinner and I'm shocked it lasted as long as it did, but it was entertaining to see how uncomfortable they both were as Wes finally decided to give up the act. I did enjoy that he thought he might have a chance at going to the fantasy suite, though. That was funny.

No laugh out loud moments this week. Mostly just lots of awkward and uncomfortable ones, which still hold a place in my heart, right next to Michael. Speaking of Michael, why does Jillian let go all the guys that are actually falling in love with her? Have any of the remaining three even come close to saying "love?" Wasn't it cute when Michael said something about straight up loving that girl? She blew it. Move on, Jami.

4th of July Weekend

Real humidity is when you land at the Atlanta airport, walk out to your car in the long term parking lot and notice all the water drops on all the other cars. You wonder if it rained, but the ground is perfectly dry. Driving home, you have to turn on the windshield wipers even though it's still not raining. Call me crazy but I love this hot, muggy weather. Trey doesn't understand it, but I am always cold so it's nice to walk outside and feel a big wet/hot blanket wrap around you. 

Trey had an office to visit near San Diego this past weekend so I went along with him, which rarely gets to happen. The weather could have been better (low 70s) but Trey was loving a break from the heat and I was loving a little vacation. We got to go to the Dodger/Padre game and had some great seats. I love this picture of Chase, Trey, and Scott. Chase got in a silly mood after this so it was hard to get a picture of him looking normal, but this one turned out great.
My favorite part about baseball dogs. And on this 4th of July weekend, my favorite part about being an dogs. Doesn't Trey look great in blue?
I also got to hang out with my best friend who lives in San Diego, but unfortunately no pictures of that reunion. Highlights of the trip: my favorite smoothie shop in the whole world, Wahoo's Fish Tacos, Dodger game, 4th of July beach party with cousins, BBQ with friends in HB, and redeye flight home arriving at 5:40am. Just kidding about that last one. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Goodbye Michael

Ahhhhhh!!! Ed is back! Did I call it or what?! I knew there was a reason I wasn’t ready to let him go yet.  There was definitely a look of fear in Michael’s eyes when Ed showed up to the rose ceremony and I was praying that that wasn’t some clever foreshadowing. But then Jillian didn’t call his name at the end and I wanted to reach through the TV and uppercut her in the jaw. How in the world does Wes get chosen over Michael? As excited as I was about Ed coming back, I couldn’t help but end the episode in sadness seeing Michael leave. He was so cute and genuine in his final speech. We’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed that he’ll get chosen to be the next Bachelor so we can see some more of him!

On with the hometown dates…

Jillian showed up in Philadelphia and most definitely interrupted Reid’s sleeping schedule. I dunno how early it was when she arrived, but he should have at least splashed some water on his face to look more alive. He seemed half asleep the whole time she was there, not really that phased that she was meeting his family for the first time. Something about him reminds me of Chandler, but not in a good way. So I guess that makes Jillian the annoying girlfriend, Janice.

Next hometown date went to Michael and awesomely enough, there are 2 of him! I can’t say anything bad about Michael, except that maybe he’s not as cool as I think he is if he likes Jillian as much as he does.

Kiptyn is still a front runner in my opinion, but he has slowly gone downhill in my book and I really just think it has everything to do with his kissing technique. He almost acts uncomfortable when its time to kiss so he goes in super fast to avoid any pre-kiss awkwardness. Aside from that, after meeting with his mom, the only advice I would offer to Jillian is to run. When a woman is that intense on your first meeting, I guarantee you will not just be marrying her son, but she’ll come along too as an added wedding bonus. And by bonus, I mean nightmare. 

Jesse, oh Jesse. I can barely remember your hometown date because your scraggly wag brother keeps flashing in my head. He would make a great beast from Beauty and the Beast, eh? When you marry somebody, you get their family too and maybe Jesse would have gotten a rose last night had he not invited his werewolf brother to the family party to scare Jillian away.

Wes makes my blood boil, especially since he got Michael’s rose. I hope Jillian is feeling like an idiot as she watches the episodes now because she sure is acting like one. And if Wes really does have a girlfriend, that girl is an idiot too. Aside from the music and girlfriend thing, Wes isn’t even cool. He is boring and cheesy. And thank you Jake for trying to save the day, but apparently Jillian is blinded by love…or stupidity.

Speaking of Jake, I’m sure you can guess my laugh out loud moment this week. Sure enough, anyone leaning over a balcony bawling their eyes out is going to get a laugh out of me and Jake is no exception. He’s a very nice guy, but man, that was funny.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

No title tonight

I just got reprimanded for slacking on my Bachelorette blog so I'm here, but I admit, it's semi-unwillingly. I don't know where my heart is, but it just wasn't in it this week. Maybe it left with Ed. Or maybe it checked out with the boring train episode. Oh well, next week should be much better.

To take it from the top, I'm not sad to see Robby leave. I don't like the way his mouth moved when he talked...maybe it was that hint of a lisp. Luckily, I'm allowed to be as shallow as I want with these strangers who volunteered for this sort of thing. What I loved when he got dumped is that the train was slowing just as she was breaking it off. Nice planning ABC. And way to leave him stranded in the middle of Canada. Kick him while he's down, why don't you.

The other one-on-one went to Reid, who is a complete dork in my opinion. I guess I'm quick to label anyone that wears glasses though as being a dork, even if it is just for fashion. Old habits die hard. I can't think of a worse first date than going snowboarding for the first time with a teacher whose no good either. There is nothing romantic about falling down all day, getting frustrated, swearing, sweating and being so sore you can barely move by the end. Regardless, Reid instantly turned into a girl when the fondue came out and he confessed all his phobias/weirdness with food. 

Would you be flattered if a guy you were dating told you that you reminded him of his mom? Can't say I've ever been told that before, thank heavens.  Poor, innocent Jake would be better off paired up with a nun. I felt bad when he was pouring his heart out to Jillian because you knew he wasn't getting a rose. You also knew Tanner was going home empty handed for sure. What a gaybo for wishing Jillian's toenails were mango-colored! He definitely put the nail in the coffin when he showed everyone his tighty whiteys. Why do guys think that girls want to see that? You're laughing...we're dry heaving. A man must have designed those underwear cause no woman in her right mind would ever think of something that stupid looking. 

Can someone please tell me why Wes is still here? The producers are obviously setting us up for his dismissal or they wouldn't be showing us scenes that make all us women hate him. Jillian continues to lose credibility in my eyes the longer she keeps him. I don't care if he's a perfect angel to her...can't she see through the cheesiness? Maybe some girls like that. Maybe I'm not one of them. 

My laugh-out-loud/rewind moment this week was literally miniscule, but I might as well mention it just in case you forgot that I don't like Jillian. When they got to their final stop and everyone got out of the train, Chris was there to greet them and tell them where they were. The camera cued to Jillian who just blurted out, "Beautiful." It sounded so repulsive and man-ish that I couldn't help but rewind and laugh again. 

I'm glad that Michael is barely hanging on by a string. He sorta reminds me of Ashton Kutcher and if that guy can marry someone who is 15 years old than him, Michael and Jillian should be able to make things work. 4 years is nothing!

I don't think I have ever mentioned Jesse on this blog and I think there is a reason for that. He seems like the biggest nobody to me who is almost not worth bringing up. I get bored just looking at him. Sure, he's nice and all, but he doesn't really offer anything that someone else can't. However, he did kind of have a nice voice when the guys were singing in the cabin. Wes, on the other hand, sounded like an idiot. On that note, I don't see who, at this point, is going to beat out Kiptyn. Ed was his biggest competition. What do you think? Maybe I'm blinded by my own ego and am missing something. 

Friday, June 19, 2009

So late

After a devastating few days of having no cable or internet, I have had to resort to other methods of entertainment, ie: the 1069 page book that I cannot seem to put down. However, I was finally able to watch the Bachelorette moments ago and I don't even want to do a full blog about it for two reasons. #1 Since I'm about 5 days late, the drama has passed for all of you, and there's gonna be a new episode to worry about soon enough (I cheated, that was 3 reasons packed into 1). #2 I'm in mourning over the loss of Ed. I can't believe my man Ed just bounced with the quickness and blew it like that. Thanks to ABC and their schemingly, manipulative ways, however, I can't get rid of the hope in my heart that he could return. I'd like to let it go and move on, but ABC is always pulling the rug out from under me so I just don't know what to think anymore. Deanna came back...why can't Ed?

My laugh out loud moment this week happened twice...once, of course, when Jillian and Kiptyn were kissing (I've come to realize that maybe he sucks at it's that overly-aggressive lower lip of his) and second, after Ed left and Jillian was in the elevator fighting back the tears over her loss. Sometimes I can be so heartless, I know it. 

If you're completely lost in the romance of all that is the Bachelorette, just start noticing the way that Jillian rubs her lipstick in. It will bring you back to the reality. Until next time!!...(I have 350 more pages to read by Monday night). 

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dear Jillian, Keep It Coming

You know, as much as I hate Juan, I was honestly hoping that he would get a rose last night and that Wes would get sent home. His cheesiness is becoming unbearable for me to watch, ugh (who really falls for that stuff?). The only reason he didn't sing his stupid song tonight is because he couldn't bring his guitar on the plane ride to Canada, otherwise you know it would've been in the mix again. Good thing he will be gone next week, but I don't know why Jillian sheds a single tear for that tool. 

As for Dave, big shocker that he didn't get a rose tonight. Sarcasm? Um, yes please. He shot himself in the foot when he grabbed Jillian's boob...and when he went in for a kiss...and when he wouldn't stop talking about her butt...and when he decided to be a psychopath...and when he cared more about the snitch than the guy with the girlfriend. That, to me, spoke volumes. This guy is a serious whacko. Does any girl love to be told that some creepster is walking behind her staring at her butt the whole time with his head tilted to the side and his jaw to the floor? According to Dave though, Jillian is just playing hard to get. Is that why she kicked you off, you moron?

Poor little Mike also had to go and I could have predicted that one from the moment he ran to Jillian straight out of the limo. Somebody was trying a little too hard, I think.  What normal boy sprints across the lawn to a girl he's known a week? Wait, slow down...what normal boy sprints across the lawn to any girl no matter how long he's known her? None that I ever dated luckily. The guy wouldn't let Mark get a word in and expressing his feelings to Jillian in front of Mark was nothing but awkward. On a side note, why did Mark tell Jillian that every now and again he thinks about living in the mountains with a dog and no woman? That seems like the opposite of what you'd want to tell a potential wife, I dunno. 

Every week there is at least one moment that makes me laugh out loud on the couch as I watch this show by myself. This week's moment was at the rose ceremony when Jillian gave out the final rose to Tanner. He accepted the rose and then they hugged and that is where I laughed, hit rewind, laughed again, rewind once more, and final laugh. Jillian's face was priceless. If you're bored today and have it on DVR, check it out. You won't regret it. 

There's a big underdog in town and his name is Michael. Turns out I love him now, followed by Ed and then Kiptyn (I got a weird vibe from Kiptyn last night but maybe that's just because he feels the need to kiss Jillian after every minor transition, ie: change of topic, sit down to stand up, next activity, etc...). Michael hasn't had a one-on-one so we haven't seen a ton of him, but he's so cute and goofy that he's been able to make an impression on my heart. I guess I am just a sucker for the goofy, entertainer-types...uh, do you know my husband, Trey? 

I asked my sister Ashley last night, "Why did I ever say I was going to quit watching this show?!" The drama is just too good! I overreacted to Jason Mesnick and threw out a statement that I absolutely did not mean, I apologize. I will never quit watching this show! Unless, of course, I decide to get a life. Then, and only then, will l consider it. Man, I wish it was Monday night already. 

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Come back Ashley!

I had so much fun having Ashley and Taya here this past week. We didn't do anything super exciting on account of a 2 year old that takes a mid-day nap and me still having to work a little but we still had a great time. Lots of parks, dog walking, grocery shopping, sunbathing, and Panera Bread. There's a park here that kinda reminds me of Central Park so we went one afternoon and just enjoyed walking around. Taya loved all the dogs and this particular fire truck below.
It's pretty obvious that Taya likes to be in control. She wants to push her own stroller and steer every steering wheel she comes in contact with (example above and below). I wish I was kidding when I say I think the grocery store was her favorite part about Atlanta. This cart made her day and made Ash and I crack up laughing trying to steer the monstrosity. The cashier even gave Tay a felt more like a circus than a grocery store trip. 
I think when I have my own kids I will probably stay skinny forever if they are like Taya. She is the happiest when she is being pushed around in her stroller and I probably walked more this past week with her than I have in the past few months combined. One morning I wanted to let Ashley sleep in so I had to keep Taya out of the house which means we went for a stroller ride for about an hour and 15 minutes. What a life! I'd love to be pushed around everywhere I went.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The only title I can think of sounds something like "bleh"

Ashley and Taya have been hanging with me out here in Atlanta so I thought it'd be best to postpone the Bachelorette blog so I could entertain them better. They're both taking naps right now though so I'll get right to it before they wake up. 

I've been hoping to see more of Ed and luckily he got the one-on-one date this week. Unluckily for him though, he got to go on the slowest zip-line in the history of the world. There's no way that could have been much fun. Sasha got the other one-on-one and I'm happy to see him get the boot...for shallow reasons mostly. He was nice, but not so cute to me. 

There have only been 3 episodes so far and already so much drama! I love it and you know you love it. Dave has reached his boiling point and I'm shocked Juan doesn't have a scratch on him yet. He is an absolute time bomb and I sure hope the cameras are present when he decides to go off. I will be front and center with a bowl of popcorn and a smile. In the meantime, I wish Dave would take out his anger on Wes' guitar...maybe by bashing it into tiny wood chips. Could he play that stupid song anymore than he already does? Probably not. One of the other guys needs to hide it and see if Wes has any game without it. Not likely. 

I don't need to say much about Tanner P. We all know he is a weirdo. What did he say...I'm just here to suck on some toes and meet some Jillian? He did some creepy little dance that looked like he was eating Jillian's toes like corn on the cob. Please get kicked off soon, PUH LEEEZ.

I don't care much about too many others. You know who I like and who I don't. The others sorta fall into the gray area. Either way, I don't like Jillian enough to even care if she picks Juan in the end. Actually, I would love it if Juan and Dave were the two finalists. She actually deserves them both if she hasn't been able to figure out by now that they are both idiots. 

For those of you who don't pay close attention to the kisses and rewind them over and over like I do, please start. Jillian is by far the worst kisser ever to be a bachelor/bachelorette. Trey might not watch the Bachelor with me but I sure make him come in the room to re-watch the kissing scenes. Our relationship is stronger because of it, I'm sure. 

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Coming to the ATL

My brother-in-law Cameron text me this morning wanting to surprise his wife by either flying me to Chicago or flying Ashley to me in Atlanta. Since I lost my wallet 2 weeks ago with my license inside it, I can't get on any planes anytime soon. So it looks like I'm going to have a couple visitors and I could not be more excited. Wouldn't you be excited to play with her all day?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Let The Games Begin

And by games, I mean making out. It's only the second episode and already Jillian has hooked up with half the guys in the house. I'm not great with these guys' names yet so bare with me. Most awkward kissing moment goes to the blondie that got the one-on-one date. He didn't even wait for the right time or the perfect moment. He basically just assaulted Jillian in the middle of her serious conversation, which I loved. Two things on the bachelor that make me laugh out loud...awkward kissing scenes and crying. It gets me EVERY TIME. Hardest I laughed last night...when the guy at the end cried for being sent home after knowing Jillian maybe 2 seconds. Along the kissing lines, I gotta say my guy Kiptyn is definitely one of the front runners. That kiss was not romantic to me in any way because first off, Jillian does not look like a good kisser. She looks like she's blindfolded trying to find the donut dangling in front of her mouth. That was a pretty steamy first kiss though if you ask me and they didn't even need a hot tub. 

Guys that need to be gone pronto, but probably won't be because they make good television and producers have begged Jillian to keep them around a little longer...Juan, Wes and Dave. Juan is the biggest cheeseball of all the dudes and seems more like he should be dating a dude. I loved it when he lifted Jillian up to dunk the basketball and then dropped her on the ground. Real smooth Don Juan. Why does he remind me of David Arquette? Wes is going to play the same "They say love don't come easy" song to Jillian every chance he gets until he gets the boot. He acts like he's trying to be so sultry and seductive. If a guy acted like that to me, I would think he was either some sort of sexual predator or addicted to porn. Run Jillian! Now Dave was the dweeb last week that couldn't speak when he first met Jillian. The only reason I like him is because he wants to fight Juan so bad, which I'm crossing my fingers for. He cares more about hating Juan than loving Jillian...this can only end awesomely I'm sure. I'm also glad that Jillian is on to Tanner P, the creepy foot freak. 

Last night, Jillian once again said that she is looking for her best friend. I could not help but cringe. I think every human being on the planet knows by now that "at the end of the day," Jillian just wants to find her "best friend." Blah blah blehhhh. 

I've still got my money on Kip and Ed. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Oh Jillian, you bug me

With the Bachelor each season comes many awkward moments and last night was no exception. Let's start with the goomba who stood silently with his head down when he first met Jillian. We all felt embarrassed for him. We all hoped he would snap out of it and say something clever, as if he was planning this. Is that a tear? I hope not. This guy, I think his name is Dave, actually ended up winning over Jillian in the end. Luckily for him, she must have a weakness for social retards. I, however, would not have given him a second chance I'm afraid. As for the guitar player, he seems nice enough to me but much too cheesy. It's awkward enough to have a boy that you know sing to you one on one, but for a complete stranger to do it your first time thank you. I also thought it was funny that they had to use sub-titles for the English guy. Did they have to translate for Jillian too? Everyone else is inside drinking champagne or whatever and he offers to make her some old granny tea. Yummy. 

The award of the night, however, for being the dumbest contestant on the Bachelorette this season goes to the idiot with the foot fetish. "I could probably find my wife in 10 seconds just by looking at a woman's feet" or something along those lines. Within seconds of hanging out with Jillian, he had to come up with a scheme to get her shoes off so he could determine whether or not she was worth the effort. And while they were talking he was making more eye contact with her feet than her eyes. What a creepo. 

In the end, there were two guys that I liked and I'm sure that will change through the course of the show, but for now they are Kiptyn and Edward (who I think was in the group of 5). I like the break dancer too, but not for Jillian, or anyone older than 22 for that matter. 

Monday, May 18, 2009

Do you know what tonight is?

Yes, it is the season premiere of The Bachelorette, starring the annoying Canuck Jillian Harris. After Jason Mesnick, I said my bachelor days were over, but then 2 months went by, I cooled off, and I'm ready for some more bachelor drama. Also, for all you parents out there...think about what you might blog about if you weren't allowed to blog about your kids, then think twice about calling me pathetic :) I already call myself that after each blog, so spare me the judgment. 

If Jillian is just too unbearable, don't be disappointed if I bow out early, but I will try to be as unbiased as possible for all you Jillian lovers. My intentions in the past have been to criticize the poor losers vying for the proposal in the end so I will do my best to stick to that. On the contrary, Jillian got herself into this mess and if she overkills the "at the end of the day" or "my best friend" phrases I may not keep the gloves up. 3 more hours and it begins...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Mother's Day...yesterday!!

I know this is a day late but I thought it'd be better than waiting 364 days to get it on the exact day. Forgive me. My mom recently drove across the country with me to Atlanta and we had a great time doing great as you can have when you're in the car for 28 hours. We got to spend a few days together before she had to fly home to Washington, which was lotsa fun. My mom is so much fun to be around and definitely likes to have a good time. I made fun of her on the drive because she popped a Vivarin and wouldn't let me get a word in afterwards. Little miss chatty Kathy on a caffeine pill :) 
This was at a place we went to called Stone Mountain...basically named for exactly what it is...a very large mountain made of stone. 
The Target near our apartments was 2 levels and mom thought it was so crazy how you get the carts up and down the 2 floors. They have their very own escalator!
This shot was taken right before we went into a 4D movie. If you've never been to one, I highly recommend it. We were laughing so hard through the whole thing because we were both screaming and jumping and getting sprayed in the face. It was awesome.

My mother is an amazing woman, one of my best friends, and I loved spending so much time with her 2 weeks ago. I love you mama!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Isn't She Lovely? Isn't She Wonderful?

I am finally feeling much better, thanks for asking. I remembered Trey took some pictures of me in the hospital and they seriously made me laugh out loud, especially the second one, so I thought, why not share them with the world. This first picture is before surgery. The smile is completely fake. I know this because they jacked up my first IV and I was not happy with the pain and bruising it left in my arm, all for nothing. You might also notice how long my thumb looks and how ugly I would be without hair.
This second one I don't even remember Trey taking, but apparently it was right after surgery. I don't really look like I'm buying the whole thumbs up, do I? This picture is so funny to me, I love it. Gosh, I'm cute.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Road to Recovery

Most of you probably already know, but I had surgery on Tuesday. A couple months ago I had an ultrasound that found some endometrial cysts on both ovaries, so I had a laparoscopy to get them removed. They say you can't technically diagnose endometriosis unless you take a look inside your body and actually see it, but my cysts were large enough that the dr. pretty much guaranteed that's what it was. After the surgery, my dr. said it was the worst case of endometriosis he has ever done surgery on. Normally, I like to be unique, but not in this case. Surgery was supposed to be 45 minutes or so but I had Trey waiting for 3 whole hours. 

No surgery would be complete without a few complications. The first complication was minor, I won't go into it. The second, however, made Trey say a bad word :) With laparoscopy they do a few to insert the camera and two more for the tools to remove the bad tissue. Luckily for me, I had to have an extra incision because my insides were such a mess. And luckily for me, that fourth incision was the icing on the cake. Apparently, the tool they use to make the incision isn't supposed to be able to cut through blood vessels, it's just supposed to move them out of the way. My dr. said he'd never seen this before, but it cut through my blood vessel and created a big leaky mess inside of me causing lots of swelling and bruising and most importantly a beautiful hematoma! When I showed my 5 year old niece my side (where the bruising is the worst) she said, "Eww, pull your shirt down. That is disgusting!" She came over again today though, and that's the first thing she asked to see. 

According to my doctor, recovery is supposed to last a week. I think in my case, it might last just a little bit longer. If it weren't for my best friend Percocet I don't know if I would have made it through these last few days. Speaking of Percocet, it's kicking in and I need to lay down. 

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Clearly a blog of boredom

These last few weeks before moving for the summer are definitely some of the most hectic we have all year. I have become Trey's personal secretary just so he doesn't have a stress-induced heart attack before we even get to leave. Last Wednesday, Trey called me and asked if I wanted to go to Atlanta the next day so that we could find some apartments (we should have had them by now but things just weren't working in our favor) and to check out the area. I checked for flights online and just decided that maybe we could make it work to leave in a few hours. So we ended up taking off about 4 hours after Trey called. Luckily (sarcasm), there wasn't much availability booking that late so the only seats left were in First Class. Never done that before. Trey enjoyed talking like a pompous rich guy and referring to the rest of the people as peasants. And on a side note, we stopped at Rubio's on our way to the airport and I am so happy it's in American Fork now! 

Turns out I really love Atlanta. After walking through the airport (even though it was 6am), I was already "feelin" it and the air just smelled sweet. We spent one day checking out the area and the next desperately looking for apartments. We had some that were a last resort and I am thanking the heavens above that we didn't have to fall back on those. These (below) are the ones we ending up getting and they are in such a hip part of town. Can't wait!

Speaking of can't wait, I'll tell you what I can wait for and that is selling. After spending a delicious and enjoyable 6 months unemployed, I've decided that I might as well knock doors again. Awesome huh! No, not really. I felt completely justified not getting a job when we got back last September because of how hard I worked in the summer and I wouldn't mind feeling that feeling again after this summer. 

Aside from all this, here's what's been on my mind today...puppy potty training. Not fun. Here's my advice: before you buy a 2nd dog, make sure the first one is FULLY trained. Walter was doing pretty good for the most part, but now that Penny has come along, he has followed in her footsteps. I've completely devoted myself to making them be trained this week, starting yesterday. I followed them around everywhere, I took them out every couple of hours, I stayed up til 3 freakin a.m. waiting for Penny to just poop before bed, which she never did. Awesome. If you don't have dogs, I'm sure you can sympathize with your toddler training. Let me ask you this though, have you trained 2 toddlers at once? Have your toddlers each individually pooped 5 times a piece after having only been awake for 12 hours? That's the main thought on my mind today...where does all the poop come from? Can you tell me?

And for all my old Bachelor readers, are you guys watching Melissa on Dancing with the Stars? If you're not, you should be. Eat your heart out Jason, you idiot.  

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mahalo Hawaii

We had so much fun last week going to Hawaii with some family and friends. It went by way too fast and I was so sad to leave. I'm also sad that my tan is slowly leaving, soon it will be just a memory.  The 2nd day there, we went to the north shore to see the big Pipeline waves where only the pros can surf. Trey wanted a picture with this sign to show just how dangerous the waves really were. 
After watching Pipeline, we drove to the set of Lost, the beach where they were filming. Unfortunately, we only got to see a whole bunch of extras, no Sawyer, Kate or black smoke monster. We had to hike through the wilderness to get a closer look. After this picture is when I starting feeling some itching going on with my foot. Luckily for me, it turned red, swelled up, and itched for the rest of the trip. All for nothing. 
Everyone was taking pictures with this statue. I didn't take the time to read what he was all about, just wanted to steal a lei since he had so many for himself, but the others told me it would bring me bad luck so I didn't. But since I am a crowd follower, I made Trey take a picture with him. I think tourists will take pictures with any kind of statue, no matter what the significance. 
We got to go to Pearl Harbor our last day in Hawaii. This was the memorial for the USS Arizona where most of the people died. It was crazy to see the ship still sunk in the water. This is my sister Ashley and sister in law Mickell.
And last, but definitely not least, my favorite picture from the trip. No description required, except please don't let the speedo distract you from the puka shell necklace. 

Girls Getaway!

About 3 weeks ago, my mom flew in from Washington and took all of us sisters (and sis in law) up to Park City for our own little ladies weekend. We spent the day at a spa, where I had a massage by a man for the first time...never doing that again. I didn't really appreciate his hairy forearms rubbing on me or being able to hear him breathe, one of my pet peeves. It was a wonderful massage, but I just can't do it again. We had a great time going to dinner, shopping, and staying up til 2 in the morning. And I'm sure all the mothers had a great time getting a break from their kids. I really hope someday that I have at least 2 daughters so they can always have a friend. I feel pretty lucky to have 3 of my own sisters and 2 married in. We missed having the 2nd sis in law there but she is fairly pregnant and living in Washington...maybe next year Tash!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Give me a break

Where do I even begin? Oh I know...most of you are probably upset about what happened last night. I, on the other hand, am thrilled because I hated Molly all season and now I hate Jason just as much...match made in heaven? Probably not. There's a Part 2 to last night's episode tonight where he probably changes his mind again. Did someone call Jillian to let her know she's next? 

Before I get into all of it, does anyone else hate watching Jason play with Ty as much as I do? Talk about putting on a show so the world thinks you're a better dad than you really are. I'd rather watch him awkwardly make out with all 25 girls than see him play with his own son. I did get a good laugh last night though when he got to see Ty for the first time in a week and ran to him at top speed on the beach. That was embarrassing. A nice jog would have been sufficient. Instead he had to over-exaggerate so that America would think he was such a great dad for missing his son so much in one week. What a drama queen. Can you tell I hate him yet?

Moving on to Deanna...they might as well have just shown the cue cards she was reading because that whole thing was completely scripted in my opinion...It probably went something like this...Producer: "Hey Deanna, we know you blew it by picking Jesse during your season, especially since your engagement lasted two weeks, so we wanted to offer you a proposition. Jason has 2 girls left to pick from and he's in New Zealand right now. We will give you a 2 week all-inclusive vacation if you will confront him and pretend to still be in love with him. We know he won't take you up on it because you've gained a few pounds and look like a chubbo but it will help out our previews for the whole season. We will make America think it's gonna be a huge deal, but really you will just accept the rejection much too easily than you would if you really cared and leave within minutes." Deanna: "What about my dignity? Just kidding, of course I'll do it." 

If anyone was excited last night after Molly got sent home, thinking that Jason had picked who we all wanted him to, then you must have missed the sobfest on the balcony. Anyone who cries that hard over a breakup clearly isn't 100% sure about their decision. And anyone who breaks up with their fiance on national television is a complete doucher. Can I say that? Please don't break up with a girl in front of the whole world who calls herself a "dumpee." Obviously Melissa has issues with past boyfriends and even if she didn't, she will now after being dumped last night for all to see. Maybe ABC was trying to set that up so that she could be the next bachelorette...the girl that always gets dumped finally gets a chance to be the dumper. Didn't she look gorgeous though when she got proposed to? 

What are the odds that they filmed the "After the Final Rose" episode on one take? I'd say zero percent, which is why Molly ended up showing what a horrible actress she is. You're telling me she had no idea why she was flown to the set to see an engaged ex-boyfriend. If ABC tried to fly me out to meet up with an ex who was presumably engaged I think I'd be a little suspicious. They told her to act surprised and since she didn't know how to act, she just decided not to talk at all. Instead, she let her jaw hang wide open as she stared back and forth between Chris and Jason. Why did she keep looking at Chris? Maybe she thought she was being Punk'd. I wish that had been the case. Someone should've called Ashton. I could have done without that awkward hour. A short note at the end of the finale that said "Jason changed his mind 6 weeks later and went back to Molly" would have sufficed. 

I think my Bachelor days are over. Last night was too ridiculous to justify it anymore. 

P.S. Good luck Molly. Apparently Jason can't control his feelings/heart/mind so there's really no telling how long he will last with you. Don't blame him, he just can't control it. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One more week!

This weeks "Women Tell All" just made me wish it was next week already. I was bored through most of it except the drama when the girls all told Natalie that they didn't like her. Awesome. Even awesomer when she tried to make excuses for being a dumb, superficial, too tan, airhead and Chris totally called her out on it. Love it. 

Just a few observations I made while watching the show...did Shannon get a spray tan minutes before the recording? She looked ridiculous. That fake tan just made her teeth look whiter and bigger. Stephanie's appearance never seems to amaze me but her rockstar hairdo tonight was a bit much. Just throw on your bonnet and nightie and accept that you are old. I thought she was so nice and sincere to begin with but now I'm over it and want to see some negative emotions out of her...I know they're in there somewhere. Nikki surprised me tonight with how vocal she was about hating Natalie. I thought after seeing herself on national television she might quiet down so as to make less of a fool of herself. She did hide the sideburns though and for that, I give her two thumbs up. Jillian looked somewhat leprechaunish in the emerald get up with the black santa claus belt. Please don't let her be the next bachelorette. Or maybe do so I can give up my addiction...I don't know if I could sit through that season. 

I'm starting to accept the possibility that it could possibly be Molly next week. I've already thought it out and hopefully it's a win/win situation for me. If Molly wins, maybe Melissa will get to be the next bachelorette. If Melissa wins, we all go home happy and realize Jason is smarter than we gave him credit for. If Deanna wins, you just really can't plan better television. I hope she doesn't, but wow, would that be a shocker! I'm curious to see what causes Jason to bawl his eyes out on the balcony. I wish it was Monday already. 

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oopsy Daisies

This is the view Trey should have had today. I am usually his travel agent for all of his trips to AZ and any trips his guys need to take. Until last night, I was a really good travel agent. I got online last night to find out when his flight landed today from Phoenix. I had to double take as I looked at the time...4:50pm on Sunday, March 22nd. I was pretty sure I booked his flight for February 22nd but turns out that I didn't, I was just a month off. So I guess I won't see my husband for another month. Whoops.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Sayonara Jillian!

So far I'm undefeated with picking who is going home next. Feels pretty good to be this intuitive. Last week I was a little nervous that Jillian might be pulling ahead but luckily her skankiness tonight lost her the battle and helped me pull down another victory. Parental discretion advised...would have been a nice warning before the hot tub session. I wish they would've warned me so I could have left the room...that was awkward. That business is meant for Showtime, not ABC. Yikes. Despite the hot tub scene, Jillian lost me the moment she pulled out the hot dogs, which I'm pretty sure was the very first night so I can't say that I'm sad to see her go. In fact, I will not miss how often she says "like" and "best friend" or HOW she says "again." Bluh.

Tonight, Molly proved that she is an absolute dud when it comes to anything serious. She can have a great time til emotions start to come out and then she realizes that she has none! Their little dinner was so rough for me to watch...say something, anything! Speaking of saying something, I love how when the girls express themselves to Jason he doesn't say anything in return, just leans in for yet another kiss. Sorry Mall Ball but your turn to go is coming, just don't cry like your dad advised. Great advice Dad...looks like being a dud runs in the family. 

Continuing with the "I'm not allowed to really tell you how I feel so I'll just kiss you" side of Jason,  Melissa could barely finish telling Jason that she loved him before he smashed his face into hers. With all the other girls, he waits out the confession until he realizes he has nothing to say back, so he goes in for the kiss. I think tonight told the world how Jason really feels and who will be left standing in 2 weeks. Congratulations Melissa, you did it! And your parents could not care less. They probably won't even come to the wedding because there will be real, live people there. Just the thought makes the poor hermits cringe. 

I guess this season there is going to be an "After the Final Rose" episode where something happens that was so intense they didn't film it in front of an audience. Here's my guess...Jillian is pregnant with Jason's baby after that steamy sesh in the hot tub. Ty is going to have a brother/sister! Actually, if it's not that, I'm guessing Melissa is going to dump Jason on national television because of that scene with Jillian in the hot tub. I know I would. 

I was really hoping Deanna was going to make an appearance tonight. This show loves the drama and so do I. Keep it coming.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You Guessed It, Another Bachelor Recap

Last night's show  was anything but comfortable...I'd say pretty awkward and pretty awesome. It's my theory that the producers of the Bachelor talk to the families beforehand and tell them to meet and greet Jason with something that is uniquely their own little weird family thing. Why else would Jillian's dad wrap a Canadian flag around him and her grandma make him wear Canadian boxers while they sing their National Anthem? Why would Molly's weird mom make everybody wear those stupid hats and make Jason draw that ridiculous picture? (What you don't see is that Jason played beer pong with Molly's family for a few hours...I would too if I had to hang out in that house). Why would Naomi's mom make everyone have a hula hoop contest? Who has that many hula hoops laying around? And why in the world would she collect a dead bird off the road to bring home, refrigerate and wait for Jason to bury? I loved Jason's facial expressions throughout the show because you know he thought it was just as awkward as we all did. I don't think families are normally this weird and that's why I think the producers have something to do with this. Melissa's parents probably didn't want to go along with the "just do weird things, it's good television" idea so they bailed. And we got to see what a normal night should've been like...dinner, talking, playing pool, hanging eulogies, hula hoops, or stupid hats. 

With this episode, I think Jillian is making her move to the top. She still bugs me so I hope I'm just seeing things, but it seemed like she pulled ahead of Molly this week...or maybe the editing of the footage just wants us to believe that. Either way, I'm glad Underbite is gone. Her family could not have been any weirder. I love that her dad gave Jason a huge religious talk with 2 slot machines in the background. That talk was definitely the most awkward. I'm surprised Naomi's dad didn't try to baptize Jason on the spot. And Naomi was right, she should've discussed her faith with Jason before this trip so he wouldn't have been so caught off guard by all the reincarnated  whackos. 

I feel bad that Jason didn't get to meet Melissa's parents because, as you know, I want her to win and it's a little discouraging for me. However, when I told Trey this, he said something like, "Oh, so they did they appropriate thing," which was not wanting to meet their possible son-in-law on national television where no one could be themselves. It is weird, though, that her friends don't even know Melissa's parents. Are they recluse? What's the deal? Why is Melissa normal? Parents like that usually have weird kids, don't they?

On a better note, Deanna will be coming back soon, which is what I've been waiting for all season. Talk about drama! Looks like Jason bawls like an absolute girl, so we'll see what that's all about very soon. I'd still like Jillian to go home next week because I think Melissa will have a better chance going up against Molly. I'll keep my fingers crossed. 

Really quick, I wanna know what you think. Do you think Jason knows much earlier in the season who is going to be left standing in the end? I honestly would hope so. I don't like the idea of him getting kissy and snuggly with all of them and then just picking one in the end that he was 51% sure about where the loser was just 49%. If I were the one he proposed to, I'd want to know that he was totally into me the whole time and was just pretending with the others to keep the show going. Thoughts?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dancing With The Stars

I don't normally watch Dancing With The Stars but I'm watching Regis & Kelly right now and they announced who the new "stars" would be this season. When they said "Shawn Johnson" I had to get online to verify. Turns out my favorite little Olympian is really going to be on the show. She was easily my favorite athlete to watch this past summer in the Olympics and I'm excited to see more of her with this show. Hopefully she'll wave and give the peace sign like she did throughout the entire Olympics. Such a cute little mouse. Starts March 9th for those who are interested. I don't really care for any of the other contestants, except maybe Steve-O, so you know who I'll be rooting for. 

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A New Addition To The Fam

I've been looking for a second puppy lately because Walter is extremely needy for my attention and I wanted to pawn him off on someone else. Enter Penny...
She is the calmest, cutest dog in the world...what they call a "Morkie" which is basically just a stupid name for a Maltese/Yorkie mix. I decided that I like the mixed dogs better than the purebreds. Maybe it's the silly names they give Maltipoo, or my personal favorite, Cockapoo. Genius. 

Walter has welcomed Penny into our home with open arms and has not left her alone for one single second. She must be so annoyed by now but she seems to put up with him pretty well. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Bachelor Recap

Okay so it's no surprise that Mother Teresa (Stephanie) is gone. Jason is a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy and Stephanie has a perfect Barbie outfit for every hour of the day. I've never seen so many matching sets in my life. Either she has too much money and just doesn't know what to spend it on or she knows she looks too old and hopes her clothes can knock off a couple years. I knew she wouldn't make it to the end but I have to admit I wasn't ready to see her go...mostly because I HATE Naomi and it should've been her turn. Luckily, we won't have to see much of Eva Mendez past next week. I'm confident she'll be getting a swift kick in the bum. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. 

Do you think I spend too much time caring about this stupid show? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I have a competitive spirit and I can't help it. When a girl I hate gets sent home, I feel a small victory inside. So I guess I don't care about Jason Mesnick and his future ex-fiance, I care about whether I picked the right girl from the start or not. So far, I'm on the right track. Next week, goodbye Naomi. Following week, goodbye Jillian. Finale...Molly or Melissa? Goodbye Molly. You heard it here first people. 

Friday, January 30, 2009

The Bachelor!

I just Wikipedia'd The Bachelor and discovered there have been 13 different ones, I've seen 5. As for the Bachelorette, there have been 4, I have seen 3. To me, this doesn't show that I am a Bachelor fanatic, as I have only been a viewer 47% of the time. However, this season I would definitely fit in the "fanatic" category, which sounds somewhat crazy but is really just a longer word for fan. Irrelevant...moving on. 

One thing I find as I watch the Bachelor is that I love to criticize all of the girls, except the few that I am rooting for. This has been a great season to be able to do that. If you watch the show I am almost positive you will share my sentiments on a few of the girls. Starting with the easiest to criticize...Sha Nay Nay, or Shannon. From Day 1 she has bothered me with her huge chiclet teeth and her stalker-like ways of trying to get to know Jason. This woman should not have been allowed on the show, she is crazy. She was entertaining to watch though, but in a very annoying sort of way. Second, who I like to call Sideburns, or Nikki. Despite her uptight attitude and need to control everything in her life (which was a red flag in itself), I could not get past her thick, coarse sideburns. Some girls have these, but most that I've seen try to hide them and don't trim them perfectly to make them look even thicker. She had a kiss with Jason that I had to rewind at least 10 times and then call Trey downstairs to come watch. So awesomely awkward that I'm glad it's still on my DVR. Next is Megan who reminded me too much of someone that I don't like so she didn't have a chance in my book. I think she dropped the F bomb every single episode and basically devoured Jason when she got to kiss him. Not the classy mom type in my opinion. Lastly on my list is Lauren (luckily all of these girls were eliminated on Monday). I think she thought she was funny trying to boss Jason around but clearly he wasn't catching onto her humor that wasn't even funny. I personally enjoyed how cocky she was, just knowing her time was coming to an end. Also, her singing voice is comical. I don't usually criticize people that can't sing (because I can't!) but if you think you're amazing and you aren't, you've got it coming.

There are now 5 girls left for Jason to pick thru. Stephanie, who has the body of an 18 year old and the face of a 45 year old woman after 3 face lifts, is the most genuine and mature of all, probably because she is by far the oldest. I like her as a person, but there's no way Jason will pick her. Naomi reminds me of Eva Mendez, with an underbite. I have nothing against her but after Jason's speech to her the other night, I'm pretty sure she doesn't stand a chance. Jillian is nice and seems to be mature about everything but her first time talking to Jason she talked about her weird hot dog theory and lost me as a fan. I don't like it when the prospective girls make Jason do things. He's there to evaluate them, not the other way around. Molly is a girl that has gone farther than I wanted her to. After revealing that her secret talent was kissing, I saw her as pathetic. She's grown on me a little, but I hated how she was after the camp out with Jason..."I'm so tired. I'm going to be sleeping all day. Blah blah blah." Lame. Melissa is the one I'm wanting to win. I've liked her from Day 1 (ask Mickell) and she looks just like Mandy Moore (luckily she doesn't act like her too). So that's my prediction, Melissa is going to win, hopefully.

Don't judge me, Trey is out of town and I'm bored on a Friday night. If you watch the show, let me know who you're rooting for!