Thursday, June 4, 2009

The only title I can think of sounds something like "bleh"

Ashley and Taya have been hanging with me out here in Atlanta so I thought it'd be best to postpone the Bachelorette blog so I could entertain them better. They're both taking naps right now though so I'll get right to it before they wake up. 

I've been hoping to see more of Ed and luckily he got the one-on-one date this week. Unluckily for him though, he got to go on the slowest zip-line in the history of the world. There's no way that could have been much fun. Sasha got the other one-on-one and I'm happy to see him get the boot...for shallow reasons mostly. He was nice, but not so cute to me. 

There have only been 3 episodes so far and already so much drama! I love it and you know you love it. Dave has reached his boiling point and I'm shocked Juan doesn't have a scratch on him yet. He is an absolute time bomb and I sure hope the cameras are present when he decides to go off. I will be front and center with a bowl of popcorn and a smile. In the meantime, I wish Dave would take out his anger on Wes' guitar...maybe by bashing it into tiny wood chips. Could he play that stupid song anymore than he already does? Probably not. One of the other guys needs to hide it and see if Wes has any game without it. Not likely. 

I don't need to say much about Tanner P. We all know he is a weirdo. What did he say...I'm just here to suck on some toes and meet some Jillian? He did some creepy little dance that looked like he was eating Jillian's toes like corn on the cob. Please get kicked off soon, PUH LEEEZ.

I don't care much about too many others. You know who I like and who I don't. The others sorta fall into the gray area. Either way, I don't like Jillian enough to even care if she picks Juan in the end. Actually, I would love it if Juan and Dave were the two finalists. She actually deserves them both if she hasn't been able to figure out by now that they are both idiots. 

For those of you who don't pay close attention to the kisses and rewind them over and over like I do, please start. Jillian is by far the worst kisser ever to be a bachelor/bachelorette. Trey might not watch the Bachelor with me but I sure make him come in the room to re-watch the kissing scenes. Our relationship is stronger because of it, I'm sure. 


Krista said...

Finally! My roommate and I have been waiting ALL week for this report and you have not disappointed! We are rolling on the floor laughing (and nodding in agreement).

and p.s. what about that movie set date? awkward and weird. downright uncomfortable to watch. who would choose to do that?! of all the dates you could plan in LA. oh right. jillian.

Anonymous said...

I love your commentary. I wish you would do my life. It would be very enlightening.

Cameron & Ashley said...

I wish we could get your blog published or something to where the entire public knew about it. It is absolutely hilarious and completely true. I also wish I'd be here longer to watch you eat your popcorn in front of the big fight :)

Phil and Holly said...

Because of my dislike of Jillian and disinterest in a bunch of dudes chasing her, I have not and will not be viewing any part of this season, but I still find your review of it entertaining.

Bri said...

Jami, we want you to come out here with Trey! Doesn't Miami sound tempting???